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Establishing Boundaries for Parents and Caregivers
Per DeAnn’s post about how our parents can be overprotective, I wanted to start a conversation about establishing boundaries for parents and caregivers. Especially as we get older, but are still dependent on other people for physical needs, it’s important that we have our space. It’s not healthy for either party if the parent or caregiver is unnecessarily hovering over the person who they care for.
I know for me, I’ve had to have conversations with my parents, aids, and caregivers if they’re trying to do too much for me or helping me with things that I can do on my own. Heck, when I was in elementary school and could still lift my arms fine, I had an aid who insisted on feeding me like I was a baby. Since then, I’ve of course learned to speak up for myself, but sometimes it can be challenging to do this without coming across as rude.
With my parents, I’ve had to have conversations in the past about giving me space and letting me take care of things on my own. Even though I still live with them, I pay rent and caregiving expenses, work full-time, and I have caregivers throughout the week and friends who drive me. I’m an adult with a lot of independence, and I can do things on my own. Granted, it’s more my Dad that forgets this sometimes lol, but he’s gotten a lot better in recent years. I mentioned in that other post that he was pretty overprotective when I started college, but he’s come a long way since then.
Then with caregivers, I’ve had ones who have been really overbearing and who didn’t work out. One in particular tried to do things her way, and was really bad at listening to me. She didn’t last long, but it was a really stressful and frustrating experience.
Have you had situations like these? How do you approach conversations about establishing boundaries for your parents and caregivers?
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