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  • Life Update and Questions

    Posted by survivinglife on June 21, 2024 at 12:48 am

    So I have a question but first… Storytime (and buckle up cuz it’s a long story):

    Two Septembers ago, my adoptive moms April and Brook (who were my only caretakers since my little brother left for college and I have been separated from my two older brothers and my older sister) broke up and Brook moved out, leaving me alone with April. April was abusive and didn’t REALLY care about me (which is NOT the point of this story, by the way) so she left me at home in bed all day while she was at work (from 4AM to 3:15PM). She wouldn’t even come home to take me to the bathroom when I called her at noon. So naturally, my disease progressed greatly during this time. April eventually put me in a nursing home. I stayed there for a year. I don’t know if any of you have ever been to a nursing home, but they suck. I deteriorated even more during that year. I was also super lonely. April only visited me 5 times. 5! I ended up getting extremely sick and no one was doing anything about it. So in December I reached out to my older siblings and our birth parents. They DID something. This part of the story is complicated but basically I confronted April and she’s not in my life anymore. In the beginning of January, my family called an ambulance. I wasn’t even in the hospital for a week before I had to get a vent in the ICU due to RSV and aspiration pneumonia. The operation to put the vent in was extremely traumatic (I woke up halfway through it 🙃) by the way. I don’t remember much about the month I had the vent besides how scared I was. Thankfully, I was never alone. My family was with me. My little brother (who is My best friend and the only person I trust 200%) even drove 3 hours to see me. He eventually convinced me to agree to get a trache so I could live. So on January 31st I had 2 surgeries: one to get a Peg-J (?) tube placed cuz I couldn’t have a nose tube in with a trache and the other one to get a trache placed. That same night, I was picked up by another Ambulance and taken to a specialty Hospital. In the middle of the night. During a snow storm. And 3 of the 4(!) paramedics were laughing and chatting amongst themselves like I wasn’t even there. AND I couldn’t talk so I couldn’t even tell them to…watch my toes or my knees or the machine that was falling. So I just hyper focused on the one paramedic that was actually paying attention to me – mostly cuz of how cute he was tbh. (By the way, his name was Wyatt and HE was the one who caught The machine.) I was at that hospital for 2 months. Then I went to another Nursing home an hour away. I was there for one stressful week. Then I went back to the Hospital cuz of Extreme pain in My stomach. That hospital was a small town hospital so while they were able to find the problem, they were NOT able to Fix the problem. So I went back to the hospital In my hometown to have my gallbladder removed. I was in the hospital for almost a month. Then I went to a new Nursing home 15 minutes away. The worst nursing home I’ve ever been to. I have been to 7 Nursing homes by the way. The Nurses at the nursing home clogged my Peg-J after I was there for only a week so I had to go to the hospital AGAIN for Another operation. I was there for a week. Then My favorite part happened: An ambulance came to take me back To the nursing home and Wyatt was my paramedic again! 🤗 when he walked in, I was like “Hey I remember you!” And he was like “You can talk! Since when?!” LOL. He also remembered How to move me without hurting me. Anyway, after watching him work 2 times now plus being able to talk to him for a minute, I now have a huge crush on him and I PRAY I get to see him again. I am still bedridden so I have to be transported by Ambulance. My next Appointment is on July 9th. One of the CNAs At the nursing home said “Next time you need Transported, request him. Just be like ‘I have had him twice now and I know he knows How to move without hurting me. I feel more comfortable with him than with other paramedics.’ It might work.”

    So now I have so many questions: can I even do that? If so, How? And If I do get to see him again, do I listen to my brother’s advice and actually ask him out? If so, How? Or do I ask him if we can be Friends and just see where that goes?

    I am almost 25 and I have never even been on a date. I am not experienced at all. I don’t know what to do.

    tammy replied 1 week ago 7 Members · 17 Replies
  • 17 Replies
  • deann-r

    Member
    June 24, 2024 at 1:46 pm

    Hey girl! So good to hear from you. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot. I’m glad to hear you’re now supported by family who do genuinely care 🙂. All the medical stuff can be very traumatic. I hope you can receive some kind of counseling just to make coping easier.

    I’m not one to be giving relationship advice. Personally though I would focus on myself and my recovery before I’d think about a relationship. It’s nice to know there are good people in the world though. If I ever see one of my ambulance drivers again it’ll be too soon. He just wanted to let my medicine kick in. When I was like, um no I can’t breath, he dilly dallied. Thankfully his partner realized I was in distress so hustled things up. It can be challenging relying on strangers when your life literally depends on them. When I was transferred by ambulance because my case was complex I voiced my concern about the driver. They assured me he wasn’t on that shift.

  • survivinglife

    Member
    June 25, 2024 at 4:02 pm

    Thank you! I am in therapy now, not just for the medical traumas but for some other stuff too.

    I’ve had a couple bad experiences with paramedics but most of my experiences have been really good.

    I am working on myself but I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. I can’t stop thinking about him. And I am so tired of being single, you know?

  • julio-perez

    Member
    June 27, 2024 at 8:43 am

    Hi there, yes I would request the paramedic, nothing to lose if they say no. I hope you get him!

  • alyssa-silva

    Member
    June 27, 2024 at 10:39 am

    Hey girl, it sounds like life has been a bit challenging lately. I hope things are headed in the right direction for you now. SMA puts up a good fight, but we fight harder. Also, it sounds like something good came out of it with this paramedic guy. I don’t know what he looks like, but Wyatt just sounds like a cute guy’s name lol.

    Kind of going off what DeAnn said, I think it’s definitely important to focus on yourself first. It seems you’ve been through a lot. Take some time to heal.

    That said, I would definitely request him as your paramedic, especially if he knows your needs the best. I do the same at the hospital when I’m having a procedure. I always request a certain doctor because he makes me feel the safest and most comfortable. (Too bad he’s not cute. 😜)

    If Wyatt ends up being your paramedic, talk to him! If the conversation flows naturally, ask him if he wants to hang out somewhere else other than the back of an ambulance. Make it like a joke. Guys love that. See if he’d just want to hang out as friends and go from there. I don’t know, what do you think of that?

  • survivinglife

    Member
    June 27, 2024 at 4:25 pm

    Thank you guys! I’ll definitely try. Maybe I’ll tell him about the book I’m writing… One of the main characters is a paramedic. I let one of my previous paramedics read the chapter where the paramedic had to save his best friend. She loved it and had zero notes on how to make it more accurate. Maybe Wyatt would be impressed by that…🤔😉

  • susana-m

    Member
    June 27, 2024 at 5:44 pm

    So much to unpack here. Honestly, I’m a little furious at your caretakers, every last one of them failed you. But there’s nothing I can do about that so, let’s look at what choices are in your hands.

    Where the f*ck was Brook in all this?

    I’m baffled why the first hospital couldn’t do a gallbladder surgery. It’s a straightforward procedure like getting your tonsils or appendix out. I’m assuming they were intimidated by your complex health issues and didn’t want to risk your body collapsing like a house of cards.

    Definitely request Wyatt for the reasons you mentioned: he knows how to move you without hurting you, he treated you like a human being & not a package to be transported and you felt safe with him. You might even mention that the other paramedics assumed you weren’t aware of your surroundings. SOP is assume that your patient can hear you whether they respond or not. (I would bring it up, but I’m more fighty than you)

    Slow down on asking him out, start by getting to know him. I like the idea of asking if he wants to hang out or even connecting with him on Instagram or something. I know he’s cute, but you’ve only known him for a couple of hours. Talking with him about the book is a great way to connect but ease up on trying to impress him. Every relationship starts with getting to know each other, that’s the same for friends and more than friends.

  • Nate88

    Member
    July 8, 2024 at 12:54 am

    Lots of great advice here! I agree with everyone else that it’s a good idea to get to know this guy a little before asking him out. That’s the way to keep things natural.

  • alyssa-silva

    Member
    July 10, 2024 at 5:54 pm

    @survivinglife Hey! How did your appointment go? Did you end up requesting Wyatt to be your paramedic?

  • survivinglife

    Member
    July 11, 2024 at 10:59 am

    The ambulance company said they don’t have an ambulance available to take me so I had to reschedule. 😑😑

  • tammy

    Member
    July 11, 2024 at 4:28 pm

    I am so sorry to hear that you have been treated the way that you have. And the neglect that you went through. That is just awful. But glad things are starting to look up for you. As far as the paramedic, I would say instead of going straight to asking him out, try to establish a friendship first. At least that’s how I would do it if it were me. And then from there see what happens. Just try to keep it casual for now and see how things progress. It’s also nice when you have an established friendship with somebody before anything romantic comes into play. It creates a bond and a connection. I fell for somebody hard back when I was 16 years old and we were friends and hung out of that. We fell out of touch for a long time when he was married. But now he is single again and he found me on Facebook and reached out to me and we have been seeing each other ever since. I did not expect that to happen at all, it just kind of took me by surprise. But we fell in love and are talking about wanting to live together and be together permanently. It’s just really nice and comfortable when you can fall in love with someone who is your best friend. Keep us updated!

    • alyssa-silva

      Member
      July 12, 2024 at 4:29 pm

      @tammy I love this so much for you!! This is such a cute story 😭

      • tammy

        Member
        July 15, 2024 at 12:28 pm

        Thank you so much girl! It’s definitely a nice feeling when it’s somebody you have known for forever. You know their motives, and you know the kind of person they are. And you’re already so comfortable with that person. It really helps a lot to be able to open up. Which I think can be very difficult for people in our shoes. I can’t imagine being to let my guard down in the same way if it was somebody that I had just met

  • survivinglife

    Member
    July 11, 2024 at 4:36 pm

    Awe! That’s so cute! I’m happy for you. Good luck with everything!

  • tammy

    Member
    July 11, 2024 at 6:21 pm

    Thank you! I definitely never expected the love of my life as a teenager to feel the same way about me as adults. Like I mentioned above, the best advice I can give is just to start with friendship. You also don’t want to take the risk of coming on too strong and scaring him away. Just keep it casual and let it flow🙂

  • survivinglife

    Member
    July 11, 2024 at 6:28 pm

    Thank you. 🙂 I’m gonna try if you ever even see him again. I don’t think he works for the ambulance company the nursing home I’m in uses. 😑😑

  • tammy

    Member
    July 11, 2024 at 6:52 pm

    Did you happen to get his last name? Or is it on any paperwork? If so you can try looking for him on social media

  • survivinglife

    Member
    July 11, 2024 at 6:56 pm

    Trust me, I have already thought of that. I only know his 1st name

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