One thing I love about this time of year is a little extra indulgence: twinkle lights, sugary sprinkles, and of course, a generous dollop of whipped cream on top of, well, everything! These details may not be essential to our health and well-being, but they are beautiful and delicious and…
Caring Together – Connie Chandler

Connie Chandler is the director of family engagement at the nonprofit organization We Carry Kevan. She grew up in the foothills of North Carolina but now owns a home and lives in Fort Wayne, Indiana. She was diagnosed with SMA type 2 when she was 18 months old. She believes the best way to receive great care is to give great care to those around her. Through her column, she hopes to share funny and sweet stories about her friendships with her caregivers and the ways they are growing together.
Like most humans in the world, I do not like to cry in front of other people. My life with SMA does not allow me a lot of grace to conceal my physical weaknesses and vulnerabilities. It is obvious to any random stranger that I cannot walk, and…

Last in a series. Read part one. Last week, I wrote about my wheelchair and how, even though I get frustrated or embarrassed by it sometimes, I’m thankful that it gives me comfort, support, mobility, independence, and opportunities to raise awareness. Another thing I often complain about is…
First in a series. In this season of Thanksgiving, it is easy for me to declare my gratitude for my family and friends, the generous and caring community that surrounds me and enriches my life. I write about these people and relationships often. They are the primary theme of my…
Throughout the summer, my favorite pastime is just to be outside, for long walks, porch talks, picnics — any reason to bask in the sunshine. But as the days get cooler and shorter, I prefer to be inside and find crafty things to occupy my time. Over the years, I’ve…
“Take the burden from my arms/ Take the anchors off my lungs …” This is the opening line to “Live It Well,” one of my favorite songs, by Switchfoot, one of my favorite bands. I woke up listening to it last week, and was struck by how…
“If you need anything at all, don’t hesitate, just give me a yell!” Pam says on Saturday nights as she tucks me into bed. “OK, you, too!” I reply, and we giggle and bid each other good night. She closes my bedroom door and goes to sleep in the adjoining…
A few years ago, a good friend of mine named Essie found out that her newborn daughter had been diagnosed with SMA. She reached out to me then, as she knew I had SMA, too. She had so many questions, so I went to my mom because she is…
Last week, I ran 4 miles in 50 minutes. “Big deal,” you might say. “You ride in a power wheelchair that can go 6 miles per hour.” All very true. Because I have SMA and cannot walk or bear weight, I use a power wheelchair as my primary…
“Come on, girl, just use your four extra arms!” I often tease my friends like this when we’re trying to accomplish a tricky caregiving task together. Some things would go a lot smoother if we had more hands helping out, but because my spinal muscular atrophy (SMA) weakens my…
The other weekend, I was invited to a golf tournament. It was a gorgeous day, and I rarely turn down an invitation for a good time, so naturally, I channeled my inner Rory Gilmore, donned my cutest golfing outfit, and asked my official caddy to tote my clubs…
One of the most common questions new friends ask me is: “Do you drive?” When I’m feeling snarky, I refer to my wheelchair and respond: “All the time.” But I know they are actually wondering if I drive a car. It’s a valid question because many people with disabilities do…
“What are we making for dinner today?” my friend asks as we head to my kitchen. I love when she says “we,” because she knows I like to be an active participant in this process. It isn’t just her making something for me; it’s both of us making something together.
Recent Posts
- When tears and fears meet grace and love
- The day my new multitasking caregiver and I learned to find our rhythm
- In my life with SMA, I strive to find the balance between joy and sorrow
- Tips for finding friends and growing your friendship caregiving team
- Learning to resolve conflict with friends who are also caregivers
