Supermom friends as caregivers, and their surprising superpowers

Strength, agility, superior cleaning skills — they've got it all!

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by Connie Chandler |

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“Come on, girl, just use your four extra arms!” I often tease my friends like this when we’re trying to accomplish a tricky caregiving task together.

Some things would go a lot smoother if we had more hands helping out, but because my spinal muscular atrophy (SMA) weakens my hands and limits the movement of my arms, the best I can do is crack a joke to lighten the mood. However, if my caregivers did mutate into something resembling Spiral from “X-Men,” it wouldn’t surprise me that much, especially if they’re among the elite force I like to call the “Mom Friends.”

Have you ever noticed that some moms have superpowers? Eyes in the back of their heads. A “Spidey sense” when their kids are doing something they shouldn’t. Or that stone-cold look that freezes you in your tracks. Their super-weapon of choice is their child’s middle name, which, when wielded — “Connie Lynn Chandler!” — has the uncanny power to get their attention in a way nothing else does, no matter how old they are!

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Supermoms and their superpowers

I used to underestimate the benefit of mom friends as caregivers. After all, they had families to care for and weren’t in a good “season of life” to add one more thing to their plate, so I steered clear and didn’t even ask. But then something strange happened: My mom friends began asking me if they could join my care team! They were hurt, maybe even slightly offended, that I had disqualified them so quickly. Now that they are a part of the team, I cannot imagine my life without them.

Here are a few of the superpowers I’ve observed in the mom friends who care for me:

Strength: I don’t know how they get to be so strong, but it may be from toting babies and all their necessary accoutrements everywhere they go. My other theory is that they’ve tapped into a deep and fierce confidence that’s unleashed in childbirth. Either way, it’s incredible that they can transfer me, turn me over in my bed, and even haul my wheelchair out of the mud.

Agility: Back to the four extra arms. These soldiers can soothe a baby, cook dinner, schedule an appointment on the phone, and keep a toddler from burning down the house all at the same time. This master-level multitasking skill is beyond helpful when my friend has to adjust my clothes, maintain my balance (and hers), keep my floppy limbs from flopping, and situate me in my seat all at once. Yoga poses and acrobatic stunts are common in my house!

Vigilance: Moms are great at anticipating needs and knowing what to do about them. They know where the Band-Aids are, how to get a stain out, and how to keep the power bill to a minimum. They’re also exceptional overnight caregivers, because they sleep with one eye open and their ear on alert all night.

Formidable cleaners: These are the friends I want to have around when I make a mess or am sick. The human body is a wondrous and horrifying thing, full of all sorts of disgusting possibilities — you know what I mean. I’m not able to clean up my own messes, which always makes me feel terrible, until a friend with an iron stomach, who doesn’t cringe or gag or faint, is there to mop the floor, do the laundry, hose me down, and give me a hug. Talk about a superhero!

While there’s a strong correlation between these qualities and motherhood, they aren’t limited only to moms. My friends of all ages, sizes, shapes, and stages of life amaze me every day with their superhuman love and compassion. Look for me to write more about them in the weeks to come!

What are the superpowers of the caregivers in your life? Think about it, thank and celebrate them — and never underestimate their ability and willingness to save the day.


Note: SMA News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of SMA News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to spinal muscular atrophy.

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