Grateful for sentimental souvenirs and friends who stick around

As I unpacked my suitcase after a trip to England, I found a little paper bag that held smooth pebbles, bird feathers, a snail shell, and a piece of sea glass — things that may seem common but for me hold special significance and precious memories. They were all scavenged by my friend Anna, who went where my wheelchair couldn’t to give me access to the little treasures in nature: pebbles found on the banks of the River Thames, swan feathers from Hyde Park, a shell perched on a rock barrier wall by the Scarborough Spa, and sea glass washed ashore from the North Sea.

I was rubbing the sea glass between my fingers and holding it up to the light to admire its hue when my phone buzzed, alerting me to a text message from Anna: “I’m not gonna lie, I miss waking up in England.” So do I, friend, I thought with a sigh. So do I.

Anna, whom I met 30 years ago in middle school, is one of my oldest friends. We survived early-1990s-era hairstyles, tacky outfits, and awkward boy-girl relationships together, and she was my first friend to bravely drive my parents’ oversized van — known as “the Beast” — when we were in high school. That fact is funnier if you know that Anna is only 5 feet tall and very petite.

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But she did this because she was accustomed to driving horse trailers on a farm, and also, she wanted me to be a part of the exciting social scene that was our small town: gas station slushies, Bojangles biscuits, football games, and hangouts in friends’ basements. There were many infamous misadventures that concluded with “Let’s not tell our parents about that.” (The memory that sticks out most to me is when we got the van stuck in a field and went “mud slinging” — impossible to hide from my parents!)

From left, Anna Hege and Connie Chandler as seniors in high school in 2001. (Courtesy of Connie Chandler)

After high school, we attended different colleges, but since our parents lived five minutes from each other, it was easy to stay in touch and hang out over winter and summer breaks. And after we got our college degrees, we both ended up back in our hometown, not at all pursuing the careers and lives we thought we would have, but finding new community and interests together.

I tell you all this so that you can see that Anna and I have a lot of history together. And history as sweet as this is really important to someone like me with SMA, who, in the midst of a lifetime of relentless degeneration of mobility and strength, craves a sense of constancy in relationships. My needs have changed and progressed throughout our friendship, and she has adapted her level of caring for me so we can keep doing all our favorite things together.

Over the years, we moved to different cities and got different jobs but stayed in touch, having the occasional two-hour phone conversation and more than one road trip across town, across the state, and across the country. And this year, we decided it was high time we took a bigger leap and cross the ocean.

Anna Hege and Connie Chandler visit London in 2025. (Courtesy of Connie Chandler)

While we were in England, Anna was a great caregiver in the ways she got me showered, dressed, and groomed every day, as well as some light meal prep, helping me eat, toting my stuff, leading the way through crowds, and talking to strangers.

But Anna is also a wanderer and loves to explore off the beaten path (literally) on her own. My dad and I recognized this urge in her several times and encouraged her to indulge while we rested in the shade and shared a granola bar. So she climbed rock walls, strolled on the beach, and tramped through the mud, and wherever she went, she picked up little gifts for me.

She’d return to us and empty the contents of her pockets into my lap and describe to me the temperature of the water and the texture of the sand. She even offered to fill a takeout box with sand and bring it back for me to put my feet in so I could feel it for myself. (I insisted that it wasn’t necessary, though it was sweet of her to think of it.)

Anna’s kindness to me has been the same for 30 years; she has always delighted in finding creative ways to either draw me close to adventure or bring the adventure close to me. I’m so thankful for her friendship, and I’m glad to know there are beautiful people like her in the world.

Note: SMA News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of SMA News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to spinal muscular atrophy.