Dating, or the Lack Thereof

Kala Godin avatar

by Kala Godin |

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We see a lot of articles addressing SMA and dating, or dating when an individual is in a wheelchair. 

I’ve had little to no experience in dating. I had a boyfriend when I was in middle school, but that was more of a “Well, everyone else is dating, so why not?” situation. And we were friends. Nothing really was different. We were 12.

But as an adult, I’ve never dated, nor am I actively seeking to. That’ll happen when it needs to.

I did look, right after high school. I had joined one dating website specifically for people in wheelchairs — I don’t recommend it. It was a hell-site that I will never go back to. My account was only active for about two weeks. Sweet, innocent me didn’t realize that some able-bodied people have fetishes for people with physical vulnerabilities. Yeah, I was immediately creeped out and deleted that account. 

Heck no, absolutely not. 


This is not to say that I am not dateable. Not to toot my own horn, but I have a good personality, a decent sense of humor, and a wicked work ethic. 

Also, I’m super humble!

I’m aware that dating me wouldn’t be easy — it would be fun, but not easy. Normally, to be alone with someone on a date, you don’t have to know how to adjust their arms to eat food, or how to give them drinks or cough compressions. A date would need to know these things, or they’d have to be OK with someone attending dates with us. The attendant would sit a little way from us, but would most people be relaxed in that situation? No. 

I know that the situation isn’t easy, and it’s not for everyone.

I also know that it’s going to weed out the people who are definitely not meant for me, and I can appreciate that. 

No one owes me that dedication. No one owes anyone anything, beyond basic human rights and civility.

The whole world doesn’t owe anything beyond that.

But the people who try for you? Those people may be few, but they are the ones who are worthwhile.


Note: SMA News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of SMA News Today, or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to spinal muscular atrophy.


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