What I would tell my 13-year-old self

My late mother, who was musically gifted, fostered an appreciation of quality music in our family. I took enough piano lessons from her to serve as her other half in a two-piano duo that lasted for decades. Whether we were performing for others or simply our own enjoyment, our go-to collection included tunes from Broadway, various movies, our favorite songwriters, and of course, Barbra Streisand.

When Hurricane Helene hit our area nine months ago, I discovered no shortage of heroic rescue updates on Facebook and YouTube. I hopped on both platforms to catch the latest news, eventually noticing other items of interest. Upon opening YouTube again recently, a song from Streisand’s new duet album, “The Secret of Life: Partners, Volume Two,” sat front and center. I’d never heard of the singer-songwriter Laufey, who is featured on the song, but the title snagged my interest, while the music and lyrics snagged my heart. “Letter to My 13 Year Old Self” whisked me right back to my own 13-year-old self.

What would I tell her? Where would I even start?

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Way back when …

When I was 13, I was tackling junior high in Fort Worth, Texas. I had great friends, excellent grades, and mixed results with frosty blue, pink, and gold lipstick from Mott’s five-and-dime store. Life was simple and pretty terrific.

At 14, I still had great friends and good grades, but life became a bit more complicated. It took me a while to figure out that the boy sitting across from me in science class kicked me under the table because he liked me. Before I knew it, I was embarking on a search for college. My senior year, everything felt just right. After that came a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to study in Oxford, England, followed by a freshman year in college that couldn’t be topped.

And then I discovered that life doesn’t always follow the path you want or expect.

So, to my 13-year-old self, sit down in a comfy chair while I share a few tidbits of what’s coming. It will be a wonderful life! You will be blindsided on occasion, but you will also garner much-needed strength each time.

First, embrace all the experiences and increased independence throughout high school. Upon graduation, you’ll have a grand time abroad, despite being separated from your group in Paris — twice! You girls will resolve the dilemma both times and be rightfully proud of yourselves.

The loss of your first grandparent — your beloved maternal grandfather, Pal — will hit hard in the few short weeks between your return home and your departure for college. It will be your second heartbreaking loss, after the death of a friend in high school. You’ll know it won’t be the last, but you’ll have no idea what’s to come.

You won’t be able to put into words your fantastic freshman year at college. Independence, a perfect roommate, new friends, serious love, and a goal of special education teaching will keep you firing giddily on all cylinders. It won’t all turn out how you’d like, or when you plan, but oh, boy. You’ll be unwittingly prepping for way more than you can possibly comprehend.

The big whammy

At 20, you’ll marry a good friend. You’ll leave Texas for South Carolina, and teach children with various debilitating diagnoses. At 32, you’ll welcome a beautiful baby boy, Matthew, and three years later, he’ll be joined by his adorable sister, Katie. Life will be replete with highs and lows, twists and turns, snags, and occasional smooth sailing.

At 43, you’ll live in the North Carolina mountains and be blessed with a bonus baby. This time, however, your precious newborn will harbor a surprise. At just 2 months old, Jeffrey will be diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy (SMA), the leading genetic killer of children under 2. Although you won’t have heard of this rare disease, you’ll be a fast learner.

You’ll be too overwhelmed by the ramifications of SMA to realize it for a while, but life’s previous losses, roadblocks, and potholes will have fortified you for this brief, extraordinary assignment. The brutal aspects of SMA will be countered by the love and support of family, friends, and fellow SMA warriors, one of whom will become your best friend.

You’ll hold sweet Jeffrey in your lap as he takes his final breath, thanks to permission from you to go on to the perfect place. And that’s the moment when you’ll realize that no matter how tough life’s curveballs may be, you are tougher.

Your faith in God, compassion for others, and an unwavering willingness to share Jeffrey’s story are among this journey’s untold blessings that will flow indefinitely.

So buckle up, 13-year-old self. It’s going to be an incredible ride.

From the one who knows,

Your 71-year-old self.

Note: SMA News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of SMA News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to spinal muscular atrophy.