Embracing My Inner Alien
— Kevin Schaefer

In the family classic “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory,” all four of Charlie Bucket’s bedridden grandparents share the same sleeping space. It’s a bewildering arrangement that fans have poked fun at throughout the years. Every time I watch the movie, I’m left wondering how these people share…

In the “Mission: Impossible” franchise, each movie starts with Tom Cruise’s character, Ethan Hunt, opening an encrypted message that outlines his next assignment. As an agent for the Impossible Mission Force (IMF), Hunt uses his unique skills to take down global threats that are too much to handle…

My 7-year-old niece, Lily, has an unparalleled level of curiosity. She asks questions about the world, when we’re going to Disneyland next, and whether I’ve seen every episode of “Full House.” The answer to the latter is yes. Lily also inquires about my life with SMA, and…

“It’s just a flesh wound.” The black knight utters this famous line in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” after losing both arms in battle. He then continues to fight in a slapstick manner and taunt his opponent as blood gushes out of his sides. Ah, I love…

On a recent episode of my favorite podcast, “Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People,” host Chris Gethard spoke with an occupational therapist (OT). When this caller discussed her profession, she asked Gethard if he had any experience with her field as a patient. Admittedly, he knew little about it and…

In the documentary “Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie,” the famed actor recounts how he hid his Parkinson’s disease for several years after his diagnosis. Even as his symptoms became noticeable, Fox wanted nothing more than to suppress that part of him and retain his…

In “The Lord of the Rings,” Sam and Frodo travel through rocky terrains and the murkiest of marshes on the road to Mordor. By the time they finally reach their destination, the hobbits are drenched in blood, bruises, and tears from the hardships of their journey. Contrary to the open…

My life often echoes the absurdity of a Monty Python sketch. When my primary care physician called me on a Friday night in early May, I wasn’t thinking about my health. I hadn’t experienced any unusual SMA symptoms that week, and thus wasn’t expecting the urgency in…

For the past couple of years, I’ve been playing a Star Wars role-playing game (RPG) with friends from church. Yes, you read that sentence correctly. My church is progressive and a number of us in the congregation are self-professed geeks. Once a month, we gather for several hours…

In the 1987 science fiction spoof movie “Spaceballs,” Princess Vespa (Daphne Zuniga) is betrothed to Prince Valium (Jim J. Bullock), who dozes off constantly. He has chronic drowsiness, so much so that he yawns when Vespa flees their wedding ceremony in a runaway spaceship. When I first saw…

A few weeks ago, my co-workers and I had a candid discussion about the things that tick us off. I work with a large team of patient and caregiver columnists from this site’s parent company, and we share many similar experiences and mindsets. Our monthly community calls over Zoom…

“We have to, Kevin.” That’s the text my caregiver, Christian, sent me several months ago when he found out that “Star Wars” actor Hayden Christensen would soon be attending a pop culture convention in Washington, D.C. We immediately agreed that we had to go. Logistics of my…