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  • Weekend Whatever Moment

    Posted by deann-r on September 9, 2018 at 10:14 pm

    While spending the weekend at Mom’s I learned her neighbor was redoing their patio.  No big deal.  I also discovered with this project they were removing their ramp and not planning on replacing it.  My initial reaction was…whatever.  I know I shouldn’t be offended, they’re not doing it to intentionally exclude me.  Yet it bothers me.  Similar feelings when my own sister removed the ramp from their house (apparently it was too slippery.)  I can still get in with 4-wheeler ramps, but it just feels unwelcoming.  Not everyone can have an accessible house, I get that.  But when they’ve had a ramp and remove it I have mixed emotions.  When the neighbor told Mom they weren’t putting the ramp back up they said they’d just have to visit at our houses.  How would you react?  Of course they have no clue it bothers me.  Would you say anything?

    ryan-berhar-2 replied 5 years, 8 months ago 3 Members · 4 Replies
  • 4 Replies
  • kevin-schaefer

    Member
    September 10, 2018 at 9:52 am

    Yeah that’s a pretty lame thing to do. I’d say that even if it is awkward, talking to them directly about it might be the best thing to do. If they’re people you’ve known for a while and this upsets you (understandably so), be honest with them. It sounds like they don’t really have a justification for taking the ramp down, and it makes you feel excluded. Sorry that happened.

  • ryan-berhar-2

    Member
    September 10, 2018 at 5:17 pm

    I guess I’d need more context. What kind of relationship do you have with these people? How often do you go in their house? It doesn’t sound like they’re ignorant to the accessibility issue, because they told your mom to just visit at her place. My guess is that they don’t like having a ramp on their property, and they don’t think you come over often enough to warrant having it.

    • deann-r

      Member
      September 11, 2018 at 9:24 am

      We have a good relationship with our neighbors.  I would say I go visit a handful of times per year.  It’s not that I expect everyone I know to make their homes accessible to me, 99% of them aren’t, it’s just kind of a bummer when one was accessible and then it’s not.

      • ryan-berhar-2

        Member
        September 11, 2018 at 12:45 pm

        I totally understand your frustration, but if you look at it from your neighbors perspective, it’s understandable too.

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