rian-dindzans
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I tried dating apps for a while, never got any stalkers or serial killers haha but did get a lot of people who ghosted me. Most I’ve gotten from it has been a couple of friends, which is great but not quite what I got the apps for, pfft. It’s worth a try if you feel like trying, as long as you don’t put your address on there it should be fine safety-wise. You could even bring a friend to a first date as an emergency out if need be, they could just sit a couple tables or seats away. While I didn’t get much out of it, who knows, maybe you find you like it! Or maybe its kind of meh. But either way, you figure out something new about yourself in the process and can use that information to help you later in life if so desired! Personally I’m not sure dating and romance is for me – but I gave it a shot in-person and online, and if I feel like trying again I will 🙂 The world’s your oyster, as the adage goes!
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I essentially won the worship of a gaggle of 3-6 year olds last summer during the family reunion. They got a huge kick out of me explaining how my wheelchair works when they asked, me narrating their acrobatic antics, playing along with their improv jokes, and especially when I drew with my iPad. I took art requests because their mom didn’t want them using it independently lol. It was hard to understand them sometimes but if you ask for specific clarification they don’t seem to mind much.
It’s so easy to overthink and feel like you’re not good enough, but when that happens, remember to take their smiles and laughter at face value. They wear their hearts on their sleeves at that age. Kids are creative, and they love coming up with ways to include the people they like! So if you find yourself at a loss again, maybe they’d enjoy making a new game centered around what you can do. You’ve got this, and it sounds like you’re already a huge, positive presence in their lives! 🙂
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Hi Alyssa,
I have been going to a therapist since early 2020 (pre-pandemic – whether the timing was good or bad, I’ll never know). She works for me pretty well, but I think whether therapy works out for someone is down to individual difference, and also the type of treatment approach the therapist employs. There’s a lot of different types – most common is Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), but there’s also things like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Some therapists blend the strategies together for a customized treatment approach, because sometimes certain therapy approaches can actually be detrimental. For example, CBT is common because it’s effective for a wide variety of mental illnesses and struggles, but it’s doesn’t work for everyone – for some, it unintentionally makes them feel like things that are out of their control are their fault. As another example, ACT works best for things like OCD, where a preoccupation with internal thoughts and the morality of those thoughts can become intensely distressing, but it might not do much for something else. Whether therapy helps is also dependent on who your therapist is. It’s horrible, but a fact that some therapists are bullies and shouldn’t be a therapist. Other times, the therapist may not understand and may employ ineffective or inadvertently harmful methods. It can take a while and more than a few tries to find the “right” therapist because of this. And the fact remains that some people just don’t benefit from therapy, and need to manage their mental health in other ways. So while I go to therapy and benefit from it, it’s entirely circumstantial, and I don’t necessarily recommend it to everyone. It does help to have someone to talk to, but that someone doesn’t have to be a therapist, as long as it’s handled safely, respectfully, and with consent.
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Also my name is Rian. I can’t figure out how to change my profile information. Whenever I click “edit” it leads to a thread about movies.
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Funnily enough, I just started keeping one too! My doctor is patching me in to a GI so she said I should start keeping one now since they’ll probably ask me to. She told me the diary should have as much detail as possible, even if it’s gross. I’ve been writing it down in my “notes” app with the following format:
day number – date
>”outside factors” (basically things like when I woke up, when I got out of bed, any sources of stress, supplements/vitamins or medication I’m taking, just anything that might even have even the tiniest impact on my digestive system)
>breakfast – time
>>what I ate (how much, what was in it, etc)
>>how I felt (both before and after, including bathroom breaks and what time I went to the bathroom and what times I pooped)
>lunch – time
>>what I ate
>>how I felt
>dinner – time
>>what I ate
>>how I felt
>dessert – time
>>what I ate
>>how I felt
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For me personally, I prefer not to compartmentalize my disability (I could if I wanted to – I’m very good at compartmentalizing lol). Sure, my disability isn’t the only thing about me, but it also affects everything I do. I’ve found solace in fully embracing my disabled identity and immersing myself in the disabled community. I love being disabled. It’s who I am. And if I don’t love who I am, then what’s the point? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Thank you for sharing and for your input! I do currently have a therapist who works with me on this among many other things, and she has been helpful. I will be continuing to see her either way I choose. It’s true how everything is connected, there often is never one single solution to mental health struggles. I heard back from my primary care doctor this week and she basically said shrugged her shoulders in doctor speak and told me to talk to the pharmaceutical consultant. It’s comforting to know you didn’t experience any side effects, though everyone’s different and I might.
I’ve had sleep studies before, and I do sleep with a CPAP – brand new actually as the old one expired and insurance switched it out. While I’m not sure of the origin of the night anxiety, I’ve known people I was close with who passed away overnight/in their sleep within the few years, and I think that made what was originally a frequent but mild fear a more sharp and intense fear. Especially knowing how some health problems can sneak up on us, like pressure sores. Being informed about the medical risks we face is definitely a double edged blade.
What you described about how the meds helped you get therapy is basically my goal – a way to manage the anxiety so I can actually take care of myself by sleeping. I’m really glad you found things that work for you, and I hope I can find that for myself. I feel like a basketcase of medical and mental problems oftentimes, and trying to address any of it can feel overwhelming. I’ve been trying to tackle one thing at a time with my therapist, but everything needs urgent attention all at once.
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Thank you for sharing! It’s good to know about those possible side effects. I can deal with sleepy. I’m glad you found it helps you!