How can I get more involved with my young niece and nephews?

[mike-huddleston]

This is a tough one, Alyssa. I’m much older, so my 4 nieces now range from 19 to mid 30s. My 8 nephews now range from about 20 to early 40s. When they were in the range you’re asking about, I was still ambulatory and able to be more involved. I was no longer able to run, but could stand and throw a frisbee or play catch with baseball/glove or lacrosse sticks. I’ve been in the chair since 2015, so most of them were already older by this time. As they’ve gotten older, we go to baseball games and dinner, etc., but that type of activity may not serve an under 7 year old very well.

So, my suggestion would be to think through things you can do, even if those stretch you slightly – slightly – out of your comfort zone while still being safe for you. Like, are you comfortable going to the movies? If so, maybe go to a movie with one or both of them. Do they like to play sports of any kind? If so, maybe watching them play games or practice and encouraging them might work. I think seeing you in different settings will be helpful to them and to you.

Please let us know how your relationship with them progresses.

[alyssa-silva]

Great ideas, Mike. I also put a little extra pressure on myself when I can’t physically do the things they enjoy. After reading what you had to say, I realized I’m more involved than I think. I go to their sports games, read to them, take them shopping with their grandma (my mom), etc. Sometimes, I just feel like I’m not doing enough!

[Gimpygod]

I have not been able to move since before I can remember & played with my niece and nephew when they were little regardless of the disability. Here are some ideas:

1) face rock, paper, scissors. I would stick out my tongue for scissors ✂️, puff up cheeks for rock, and not move at all for paper.

2) if you can drive your chair give the little monkeys rides, safety is for boring people!

3) read to them and they can turn the pages.

4) pay attention to what there imaginary game is and join in. I was usually the store owner, safe place where they could not get tagged or eaten by zombies or sharks 🦈 whatever.

I got more when those get old

[alyssa-silva]

These are so creative!! Thank you 🙂

[deann-r]

That’s such a fun age. My nieces loved wheelchair rides. For some reason they enjoyed house tours. I’d pretend I was the train and call all aboard. We’d come up with fun names for the rooms. For example the living room was the room of life. It was always fun when we got to the bathroom, ha ha. Eye spy was a good game too as well as hiding a treasure and playing hot/cold to find it.

[alyssa-silva]

Eye spy! That’s such a good/easy game for me to play with them. I’m so far removed from my childhood that I don’t remember all these games.

I’ve been trying to offer them wheelchair rides, but they’re afraid lol. When my cousins were little, I was a “bus driver,” and I’d drive them to imaginary places in my wheelchair. They loved it. I have to keep gently trying with my niece and nephews. I think they’ll eventually warm up to the idea.

[kip-troendle]

I had fun tying a wagon behind my chair and pulling them around for rides. I would also turn my speed down and allow them to drive my chair slow and safe. I think this educated them as well.

[alyssa-silva]

I’ve been wanting to try this! What did you use to tie the wagon to your chair? Was it secure?

[eric-ovelgone]

So…my niece, when she was young was probably the most active energetic kid on the planet. To give you some idea …she is an acrobat and currently got accepted to a school to train for cirque du soleil. She literally was upside -down walking on her hands more than she sat. No human alive could keep up with her…and, much of the time, it was up to me and my father to look after her while her mom and dad worked. My father, her grandfather’s general idea of babysitting was to take her to McDonald’s playground so he could eat a burger while she ran around, or turn the tv on.

Kids mainly just want someone to watch what they do, praise them when they do something like a cartwheel and generally be proud of them. Just being there, paying attention and being present is usually all they need. Another tip…I had a stand in…a Stuffed Bunny…who did the physical games in my place. So Sunny Bunny would bounce on the trampoline in my place as i cheered a safe distance away and occasionally spoke on behalf of the poor stuffed bunny being trampled on as the future acrobat was landing on it’s head. Seriously …get a stunt bunny. Give them challenges, like avoid the lava floor or run around the outside of the house a few times until their tired and their energy is at a manageable level, then pull out the board games and computer games . On a nice day, go for a ride through the neighborhood as they walk beside your chair.

[alyssa-silva]

It’s so cool that your niece got accepted to train for the Cirque du Soilei. Makes sense that she was very active as a child.

You gave me some great ideas to try. After reading everyone’s comments here, I think I’m overthinking how I interact with the kids. Today, my nephew played Wheel of Fortune on the TV for hours, lol. He controlled the remote, and I told him what letters to pick and taught him how to spell different words. It was so simple, and we had so much fun together.

[susana-m]

Aww, I love that age.

My sister and I are close in age so we grew up getting creative in our play.

If they’re nervous about riding on the back of your chair, get a very long belt to secure them.

Once they start getting skateboards and skates, they hang on the back of my chair and I’d drag them around.

Eric is right, kids want us to see them. The best thing you can do is be there and support their adventures. Listen to them, ask them their opinion, ask him what they want to do.