rian-dindzans
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I essentially won the worship of a gaggle of 3-6 year olds last summer during the family reunion. They got a huge kick out of me explaining how my wheelchair works when they asked, me narrating their acrobatic antics, playing along with their improv jokes, and especially when I drew with my iPad. I took art requests because their mom didn’t want them using it independently lol. It was hard to understand them sometimes but if you ask for specific clarification they don’t seem to mind much.
It’s so easy to overthink and feel like you’re not good enough, but when that happens, remember to take their smiles and laughter at face value. They wear their hearts on their sleeves at that age. Kids are creative, and they love coming up with ways to include the people they like! So if you find yourself at a loss again, maybe they’d enjoy making a new game centered around what you can do. You’ve got this, and it sounds like you’re already a huge, positive presence in their lives! 🙂
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Hi Alyssa,
I have been going to a therapist since early 2020 (pre-pandemic – whether the timing was good or bad, I’ll never know). She works for me pretty well, but I think whether therapy works out for someone is down to individual difference, and also the type of treatment approach the therapist employs. There’s a lot of different types – most common is Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), but there’s also things like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Some therapists blend the strategies together for a customized treatment approach, because sometimes certain therapy approaches can actually be detrimental. For example, CBT is common because it’s effective for a wide variety of mental illnesses and struggles, but it’s doesn’t work for everyone – for some, it unintentionally makes them feel like things that are out of their control are their fault. As another example, ACT works best for things like OCD, where a preoccupation with internal thoughts and the morality of those thoughts can become intensely distressing, but it might not do much for something else. Whether therapy helps is also dependent on who your therapist is. It’s horrible, but a fact that some therapists are bullies and shouldn’t be a therapist. Other times, the therapist may not understand and may employ ineffective or inadvertently harmful methods. It can take a while and more than a few tries to find the “right” therapist because of this. And the fact remains that some people just don’t benefit from therapy, and need to manage their mental health in other ways. So while I go to therapy and benefit from it, it’s entirely circumstantial, and I don’t necessarily recommend it to everyone. It does help to have someone to talk to, but that someone doesn’t have to be a therapist, as long as it’s handled safely, respectfully, and with consent.
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Also my name is Rian. I can’t figure out how to change my profile information. Whenever I click “edit” it leads to a thread about movies.
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Funnily enough, I just started keeping one too! My doctor is patching me in to a GI so she said I should start keeping one now since they’ll probably ask me to. She told me the diary should have as much detail as possible, even if it’s gross. I’ve been writing it down in my “notes” app with the following format:
day number – date
>”outside factors” (basically things like when I woke up, when I got out of bed, any sources of stress, supplements/vitamins or medication I’m taking, just anything that might even have even the tiniest impact on my digestive system)
>breakfast – time
>>what I ate (how much, what was in it, etc)
>>how I felt (both before and after, including bathroom breaks and what time I went to the bathroom and what times I pooped)
>lunch – time
>>what I ate
>>how I felt
>dinner – time
>>what I ate
>>how I felt
>dessert – time
>>what I ate
>>how I felt
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For me personally, I prefer not to compartmentalize my disability (I could if I wanted to – I’m very good at compartmentalizing lol). Sure, my disability isn’t the only thing about me, but it also affects everything I do. I’ve found solace in fully embracing my disabled identity and immersing myself in the disabled community. I love being disabled. It’s who I am. And if I don’t love who I am, then what’s the point? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯