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Dating Apps
Does anyone have any positive experiences with meeting people on dating apps? I’ve been thinking about joining one but I’m scared lol. My friends want me to join one and want to create a profile for me. I’ve never dated or had a boyfriend before so I’m nervous. I’ve also heard bad stories from people in a wheelchair who have used dating apps. I’m also just scared of meeting people online and not knowing who they are, like what if they’re a serial killer or a stalker lol.
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7 Replies
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I’ve been dating an amazing gal who matched with me on Hinge. That’s why I think dating apps are worth a try for anyone with SMA who’s interested in a relationship. Give it a shot!
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I personally haven’t had luck with them but I know plenty of Disabled people who have. I’d say give it a try.
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I haven’t had much luck either but I also never really put too much time or effort into it. I’d give up after a few days. 😂 But I say go for it. Even if a relationship doesn’t come out of it, it’s great practice just talking to someone and holding a conversation with them. And it’s waaay less pressure than having to do it face to face.
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20 years ago I set up profiles in the dating websites. I did it both ways, not mentioning my disability and writing openly about my advocacy work. It didn’t seem to make a difference. It’s easier for women because guys always make the first move. My close friend posted her profile. Guys responded to her picture and didn’t even read what she wrote about her disability. When they contacted her, the correspondence continued until they got to that one thing. Then they disappeared.
This is the important part: don’t be scared. If just mentioning your disability chases people away, consider that to be a filter protecting you. The perfect is the enemy of the good. If they are prejudiced enough not to even give you the time of day, then that is a lot better than wasting months or weeks with these jerks and having them break your heart later after you have already invested much of yourself into them for nothing.
And like Dr. Ruth said on the radio back in the 80s, your chances are much greater if you get out there and get involved in activities which attract people who have things in common with you.
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I made a profile a few times and talked to some nice people who didn’t care about my disability. However, I did not feel any interest or Connection in any of those people. I ended up deleting my account after a few weeks. Then every other time I would make a new account I would end up just doing the same thing again LOL. I felt like I was forcing myself to find someone just for the sake of having someone. Rather than allowing it to happen naturally. Don’t get me wrong, I know a few people who have done it and it worked out and they ended up getting married and are still happily married. But it’s just not for me. I’m grateful that the person I am with now has known me for 28 years. I’m comfortable with him, and I know his heart. It just flows so naturally and that’s what I really like
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Despite not having any experience with dating apps, I’m gonna jump in here. If your friends are encouraging you to do this and want to make a profile for you, do it! Call it practice. Whether it works out or not, it’s a gamble for everyone. But I do think you should be out in the world doing things that you’re interested in, that’s a good way to meet people. There’s MeetUp and Eventbrite and lots of ways to find out what’s happening in your area. It’s OK to be scared but don’t let the fear stop you. You’re alive, live the best life you can.
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I tried dating apps for a while, never got any stalkers or serial killers haha but did get a lot of people who ghosted me. Most I’ve gotten from it has been a couple of friends, which is great but not quite what I got the apps for, pfft. It’s worth a try if you feel like trying, as long as you don’t put your address on there it should be fine safety-wise. You could even bring a friend to a first date as an emergency out if need be, they could just sit a couple tables or seats away. While I didn’t get much out of it, who knows, maybe you find you like it! Or maybe its kind of meh. But either way, you figure out something new about yourself in the process and can use that information to help you later in life if so desired! Personally I’m not sure dating and romance is for me – but I gave it a shot in-person and online, and if I feel like trying again I will 🙂 The world’s your oyster, as the adage goes!
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