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  • What’s your living arrangement?

    Posted by deann-r on June 29, 2024 at 9:07 am

    When it comes to living arrangements there are a lot of variables that come into play. From finances to family structure, all these factors, not to mention disease progression, influence how we have things set up. There’s no right or wrong way.  

    I like to hear about various living arrangements to find out what works and what some of the challenges are. How’s your living arrangement structured?

    As for me, I live in a single-dwelling residential home. My mom owns it, and I pay rent. The upside is I have a pretty understanding landlord. The downside is that I don’t qualify for any rental assistance because my parent owns the home. 

    After living with my parents, doing the dorm life, and navigating a third-floor apartment, I love having my own space. For the most part, I can have everything set up how I need it and not have to worry about impeding someone else’s space. There’s a sense of freedom.

    In one aspect it allows freedom, but in other ways it’s restrictive. Since I’m dependent on outside caregivers I keep a pretty rigid schedule. I don’t always have someone around so if I need something in the meantime I have to call around or wait. It can be expensive too since there’s nobody to share expenses. Plus I live in Minnesota, so I hibernate half the year.  

    What’s the most challenging aspect of your living arrangement?

    ari-anderson replied 1 day, 4 hours ago 3 Members · 5 Replies
  • 5 Replies
  • lisa-bertolini

    July 13, 2024 at 7:33 pm

    Deann, I always watch YouTube! I have wondered about your living arrangement, so thank you for sharing. I live in a single Family dwelling near Chicago. My parents added me as a third owner several years ago. We are joint tenants with right of survivorship. My mother has since passed away. My father is 91 and continues to live in our shared home. I am fortunate that he is mostly self-sufficient. I have five come and go caregivers. It used to work fine for me but now having no nighttime help is getting harder because I also have to worry about my father. I worked for a corporation for 27 years so I don’t qualify for any federal assistance. I pay for my caregivers out of pocket and it’s incredibly expensive. I feel your pain when somebody cancels or shows up late. I don’t know how to solve this problem. Many caregivers, I think, do not understand that I don’t receive any help financially for my dad and me. I also don’t think they take caregiving always is a real job that they are accountable for showing up to. Perhaps if there was a way to offer benefits, they might take it more seriously. What are your thoughts?

    • deann-r

      July 15, 2024 at 9:44 am

      Thanks for sharing Lisa! I almost had my mom talked into visiting Chicago once but it was a little intimidating so we didn’t do it. If we ever get brave enough are there any specific sights we should see?

      91! 🙌 how awesome is that! When you were added to the deed I bet it gave your parents some piece of mind for your future. With longevity genes like that you could be around for a while. It makes a big difference that you aren’t on government programs though. That’s why my name isn’t on anything. If something should happen to my mom, this house goes to my sister, but there’s some kind of clause that I can remain a tenant. Otherwise, if I would inherit anything it would go to the government when I die because I’m on Medicaid. Kind of stinks, but I am a budget buster for the state, although not as much as if I’d need nursing home care. They want to recoup what they can. Do you see yourself remaining in your home for the foreseeable future?

      It’s so frustrating that the ability to hire caregivers isn’t afforded to everyone who needs it. You can get almost all the equipment you need to live independently through insurance so why not caregivers? In the long run it should be seen as a savings, reducing the need for hospitalizations or specialized care. Unfortunately I don’t have a solution. I do know some individuals who have live-in caregivers. They offer reduced rent in exchange for caregiving services. Space and the right candidate could be problematic. Would something like that work for your situation?

  • ari-anderson

    July 15, 2024 at 3:45 pm

    When I was a child, my family and I lived in a small apartment. However, when I was 13, we had our own house built. The garage was turned into my side of the house with my own bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and medical supply room. All of these rooms are separate from my mom’s side of the house. I talk a little more about my living space, with a couple of pictures in my latest column. Here is the link:

    As far as caregivers, I receive skilled nursing, (RNs and LPNs), through a state medicaid program called Private Duty Nursing (PDN). The state medicaid pays the nursing agency, who in turn, hire and pay the nurses’ salary. It’s a struggle to find responsible RNs and LPNs, just like it is for other types of caregivers. Fortunately, with the current nursing agency I’ve been with, we’ve been able to find some good ones recently. The nursing agency I was with before, didn’t pay the nurses as much, or offer as many incentives.

    • deann-r

      July 19, 2024 at 9:04 am

      Thanks for sharing Ari! I think it’s really cool how you’ve landed on what works for you. Great article. I love how you point out it’s not always a cakewalk but with the right amount of effort and persistence we can make a go of it. Out of curiosity is your space a total bachelor pad?

      • ari-anderson

        July 23, 2024 at 1:50 pm

        Hi Deann, yes, it is a total bachelor pad. It’s separate from my mom’s space, but still in the same house as my mom if that makes sense.

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