Hey! This sign says, ‘Disabled entitled to space!’

“Dear God, why did you not bless me with resting bitch face?”

That was my prayer on May 23, 2025. I’d been up since 8 a.m. It was past 5 p.m., and I was exhausted from a pain management nerve ablation done that day. I was on my way home via a train station, crammed like tinned sardines in the elevator with other passengers, marinated in sweat from the spring heat. Many of said passengers were nondisabled to the naked eye; they were young, childless, fit enough to use the escalator.

In my exhaustion, I’d lost much of my patience and ability to remind myself that some people have invisible disabilities. For the entirety of that day, I’d get stuck waiting for elevators because people who could walk wouldn’t let people on wheelchairs, like me with my SMA, aboard. It was like myself and other disabled passengers were invisible! So as some of them met my gaze, I glared at them and toyed with the idea of telling them off.

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But then, I noticed my face in one of the mirrors. Because of my wide eyes, oval-shaped face, and pretty pout, I hardly looked intimidating. Not even irritated. At worst, I looked tired or ill. The wheelchair certainly didn’t help, either.

I rolled my eyes at myself as I alighted on the floor of my train’s platform.

This ain’t outer space, guys

If you ever go looking for an elevator or a ramp, you may notice two things.

First, that they’re either purposely built out of your way so only those who need them will find them, or they’re annoyingly crowded because of convenient placement. Second, that there tends to be too few of them around.

It’s like the architects were aware of the aforementioned conundrum: that they could either reserve certain spaces and accommodations for the disabled by hiding them, or they could provide convenience that the disabled don’t always have. With each building and structure, you can see what each architect prioritizes. And yet it’s like they woefully underestimate how many people would like to use those spaces, disabled or not.

Unfortunately, there’s no easy fix to the problem. Though you could build more elevators, ramps, and other types of spaces and accommodations for the disabled, I’ve learned the nondisabled will always take advantage. Why shouldn’t they? It’s all public and it’s a free world, no?

Educating people and politely asking that they kindly prioritize those who don’t have the same freedoms of choice only seems to go so far. The public transport service in Singapore, where I live, has spent years and resources on awareness campaigns, signs, and sensitivity training for public transportation staff. Still, the seemingly nondisabled squeeze themselves into elevators, park their feet in parking spots for wheelchairs on buses and trains, and generally behave like they’re entitled to the space around them.

Sorry not sorry!

The only solution I’ve found to this issue is to learn to take up space myself.

I was raised to be a polite and obedient child who follows the guidelines suggested to me and puts others before herself. I stand aside when other people are exiting and entering vehicles. I hang back in queues to elevators and just about everything else, allowing people who’ve arrived after me to go first if I can. I don’t always lay claim to spaces and things I need (then complain afterward that I didn’t).

The other day, a random child got into my personal space and used my shoes as a drum. I didn’t get upset. Instead, I, as if programmed to do it automatically, apologized to him.

That’s how ridiculously gracious I usually try to be.

But my usual behavior can’t continue anymore. It’s resulting in me feeling frustrated, being late, enduring pain flares, and praying for resting bitch face.

So I’m fighting fire with fire. If other people don’t have a problem taking advantage of what I need more than them, I’m learning to not have a problem making my presence and needs known. I don’t stand to the side anymore; I stand close to the front. I push forward in queues. I’m working on not apologizing automatically for something I didn’t do. Maybe that’s how I help to change society for the better.

If you’re struggling with what I’ve talked about as well? Take this column as a sign to be further encouraged toward being your best, new, more justifiably entitled self. It’s a freer world.

Note: SMA News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of SMA News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to spinal muscular atrophy.