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When people say ‘I’m tired too,’ how do you respond?
Chronic fatigue is real, and I’ve lost count of how many times someone’s responded to my fatigue with, “Yeah, I’m so tired too.” I get that they’re usually trying to connect or empathize, but it can be frustrating, especially when the kind of fatigue I’m talking about isn’t something a good night’s sleep can fix.
How do you respond in those moments? Do you educate, stay silent, or redirect the conversation?
I typically brush it off, but I wonder if it’s a good teaching moment.
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6 Replies
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Like you, I usually don’t bother to educate them. Muscle fatigue is even harder to explain. when just moving makes you want to cry because it is so difficult…
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I totally feel you. Know that we’re always here if you ever need to vent to people who get it. This weather we’ve been having lately doesn’t make matters easier, either. My muscles don’t function in the cold, and I think spring forgot to show up this year. Did you guys get some snow last night, too?
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If they are aware of my condition. I just jokingly say “yeah, try having SMA!” Then they look away and look embarrassed. If they don’t know anything about me. I just dismiss the comments completely……..
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That’s true. I have made jokes before to people who know me. I think humor can be a good way to keep things lighthearted but still get your point across.
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It’s an awkward situation. The fatigue that we experience is on a whole other level beyond having a long day. It’s the difference between the ocean and a pond.
That said, I try not to dismiss someone else’s experience. My disability doesn’t discount how miserable someone else feels when they have a cold. It’s not a contest. And most people have the grace to be embarrassed when they’re complaining about some minor physical thing.
Depending on the day, it could be any of the following:
Shared empathy.
“Should we get coffee or a nap?”
Frustrated at the obvious inequity.
“Oh really? YOU’RE tired? Do tell.”
Zero tolerance. (Laced in venomous sarcasm)
“Let me know when you’re too tired to lift your arm and then we’ll have a conversation.”
Lately I’ve been trying to meet people where they are and not punish them for their lack of understanding. But that’s still a work in progress and I often entertain visions of smacking them before making the adult choice.
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LOL, same! I have to bite my tongue now and then to remind myself that I have extraordinary circumstances that not many people will understand. It definitely teaches me a hard lesson in patience and grace.
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