The reason I trust that I’ll finally have new nurses to help me
I have faith that the staffing will arrive, now that it's necessary they be found
When my back is to the wall and a crisis is coming to a head, that’s when my life really gets interesting. There are no more long waits to see if something will happen; instead, something has to happen. The way I see it, human intervention usually occurs, but that couldn’t happen without divine intervention as well.
I’ll explain.
Trust-fall experiments — where a person falls backward, trusting they’ll be caught by the waiting arms of another — are great, but I think they’re too predictable. Real life isn’t that predictable, especially when you have SMA.
Instead of purposefully falling, I never know when life is going to try to knock me down. Sometimes I also don’t know who’s going to catch me. The point is, someone almost always does. I believe those people were sent by God at exactly the time I needed them.
A successful search
Two years ago, I found a couple nurses by searching online. Those discoveries were even more extraordinary than I’d initially thought. One of the nurses I found began with me as a day nurse, but she agreed to switch to nights just as my night nurse of eight years was moving to Florida.
Some people might call it luck that I found a day nurse who, just in the nick of time, was willing to switch to nights. Today, I call it God’s timing. I considered it God’s timing two years ago as well, but I gave way too much credit to myself. I thought that with my talent for writing clever job ads, I could find nurses whenever I wanted!
I became so upset over the next two years when I’d look for nurses myself and couldn’t produce the same magical results. I’ve had to take many breaks from that search. The oppressive amount of frustration I’d get from looking online myself, for dozens of hours at a time, and getting nothing in return just wasn’t good for my mental health. I’ve let my home health agency handle a lot of the searching now.
My view is that God was trying to teach me something. Yes, I found two nurses, but it was on God’s timing. Although I’m still short-staffed and the nurses I have are overworked, few of my shifts have gone uncovered. My pride may have been hurt by not being able to find more help, but my medical care hasn’t been affected. That’s thanks to everyone on my staff pitching in.
At the moment, I have three regular night nurses. That’s not enough if one of them takes a vacation or needs to call out, but everybody has pitched in to cover any schedule holes — even though it’s been rough on their energy levels.
A hero of mine
The time has finally come, however, for me to get new staff members.
When the day nurse I found two years ago agreed to switch to nights, the change was supposed to be temporary. Right now, she’s still doing three to four nights a week. That didn’t bother her for quite a while, but over the past few months, several factors in her personal and professional lives have made her need to switch back to days, and soon.
I have nothing but gratitude for her for sticking with nights for so long when that wasn’t what she was used to doing. That makes her one of my heroes. It shows strength of character, a great example for other nurses to look up to.
It pains me to see anyone get worn out from working on my case for too many hours without end. This unfortunate result has made me again determined to find more staff. Now, though, if my agency finds one or two people for my case instead of me having to do it, that’s great. The main objective is to get me great nurses, no matter who does it. There’s no room for my ego.
As a side note, the nurse gets paid by my agency, whether or not I’m the one to find them.
I look to success from above
With that night nurse switching back to days, my back is to the wall again. There’s no more waiting for something to happen; something must happen. I believe God will show up, without any effort on my part.
Arriving at a point where something must happen can be tense, but it’s also reassuring. The timing of miracles is not my own. I have faith that I’m about to receive some fantastic nurses. That will boost my spirits and help me soar!
Note: SMA News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of SMA News Today or its parent company, BioNews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to spinal muscular atrophy.
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Comments
susie Crute
Hi Ari! I like being 'a part of the conversation' as this portion of our relationship says: You share your heart...all the struggles, the lessons learned, your needs, etc. You pray and process, we listen and share back! So this time seems more like a joint team-effort! I understand some of what it means to have 'faith that doesn't mean I have to do it', sort of! I come to a place inside where I'm 'quieter', I see a little more clearly that I can't 'do it, fix it'...but He can, He is always good and always faithful! Our worship leader has recently written a song, 'It is Finished', meaning there is nothing lacking in what He has already done, 2000 years ago and from eternity past! For each of us who believes in Him! We will pray with and for you! Susie