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Missing Out and SMA
Missing out usually isn’t something that bothers me. Over the July 4th weekend, though, those feelings came creeping in. While enjoying the nice weather at the lake a pontoon motored by. I mentioned how I miss being able to get out on the water. After Dad passed, we sold our pontoon. My sister seemed offended and started listing all the reasons we sold the pontoon. I didn’t mean anything by it, it’s just one of those things I used to be able to do but now can’t. Is there something in particular that you miss?
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9 Replies
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Kayaking, camping, being able to just be out in the woods alone and not being on a hard path. Sigh
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Yes, that alone time is precious and it’s tough when you can’t do those things by yourself.
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Such a good question, DeAnn. I try really hard to focus on what I am able to do vs what I can’t/what I am missing. That said, there are times when those feeling of missing out come in. Lately it has been around travel. My sister and niece on currently on a 10 day trip to Italy, France and Spain. Looking at their photos every day, I have a little hint of envy. Good friends of mine recently spent a few weeks in Hawaii. Other friends are leaving soon for Greece. I am so happy for them to have the opportunity but a part of me wishes I could easily hop on a plane and trek across Europe.
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I’m a proponent of focusing on what I can do as well. Sometimes it can be tough. Travel is one that’s especially tricky. Like you said you’re happy they can experience it, but it stings a little knowing you can’t. Even experiencing different cultures would be fascinating. Guess 90 Day Fiancé will have to suffice. Hope they bring you a souvenir!
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Like Amy, traveling is something I miss most. Over the years I’ve gotten much weaker which makes traveling more difficult. In fact, this weekend my friends are renting a beach house for a bachelorette party. I was invited, but I can’t go and am super bummed about it.
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Sorry you had to miss it. I think one of the hardest parts is putting on the “Its fine” face when you’re really bummed about it.
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Exactly. But at the same time, I still want the invitation even though I can’t always go. I’d rather be invited than not be included at all. It reminds me that my friends want me there and I haven’t been forgotten.
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Oh golly. This topic really resonates with me lately. My husband and I were very adventurous when we were in our 20’s, 30’s and some into our 40’s. I could literally write a book about all our vacations (and misadventures)!
I also have friends and family jetting around the world this year, and I try so hard not to feel like I’m missing out. It’s hard. Being thankful, for what I do have, can help. Still, reliving our memories is a typical human reaction… especially as we get older (says this gray-haired lady).Sending Hugs to everyone who has shared in this thread.
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It’s the fading independence that’s toughest for me. Sure, I get a little sad when I know there’s camping and I can’t join. Going to wild spaces is like going to the moon, admired from a distance. I wasn’t able to have a private vacation, driving was as independent as I could manage for a short period of time but that’s long gone now.
I miss putting on my own makeup. You know how it is: spend the first part of your life figuring out who you are and how you want to present yourself then *BAM* you’re trying to explain how much mascara is enough. And not being able to feed myself, that was a sucker punch to the ego.
Most people aren’t aware how the very help we need can often demote functioning adults into needy children, at least in the eyes of those helping. (In ourselves, too.) There’s a biological aspect we gloss over: the mechanics of assistance. When you physically look down there’s an underlying assumption the shorter person is young and helpless, somehow lesser. We see it with kids, the elderly and the disabled. I’m not saying everyone does it but it’s part of every exchange that’s worth discussing
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