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On Being Called “Buddy”
I know I’ve brought up this topic before, but I think it’s important to discuss. We often encounter strangers who treat us differently because we are disabled. I’m not talking about the mean-spirited people who hurl insults, but about the people who pity us and treat us like children.
For me, I get called “buddy” pretty often, and I usually just brush it off. But it does get on my nerves. Just the other day at church, three people in a row called me buddy, but in a tone that sounded like they were talking to a five year-old. It’s weird, I tend to either get called “buddy” or “sir” depending on the person.
I’m more just venting here, but I wonder if I should be more vocal in these situations. It really gets on my nerves when people talk to me like I’m a helpless child, but I never know what to say. I usually just keep moving along. When you all have been in these situations, have you ever said something like “Please, you don’t have to talk to me differently. I am a fully-functioning adult, and my disability is strictly physical. You can talk to me like you would anyone else”? I just have never bothered to prepare something like that. Thoughts?
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10 Replies
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I usually get mixed up with another gal who’s in a wheelchair in my same town. Sometimes I correct them, sometimes I don’t. It’s frustrating though because obviously they haven’t taken the time to get to know either of us. In your situation I would be tempted to say, “I’m good, how about you sport?” Of course I wouldn’t have the nerve. I don’t think people do it intentionally though.
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Yeah that’s annoying. Like you said they could get to know both of you.
And lol good comeback. I’m always tempted to say something snarky, but like you said I know they think they’re being nice. It just gets old. But I do want to try next time to just politely correct the person.
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Does it come from people who should know your name? Maybe you could say nicely, “It’s Kevin, I’m doing well, you?”
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Nah, usually from strangers. But yeah, I think a good polite response like that is a good approach.
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I’m called buddy on occasion. I never really took it negativity or associated it with my disability. It’s a pretty common term, so I just never thought much of it. Then again, maybe I’m being naive here. Either way, I don’t really care. It’s best to let such minor annoyances go.
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It’s not so much the word itself, it’s how people say it. You know what I mean? Sometimes people’s tone makes it sound like they’re talking to a kid and not an adult.
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Yeah, it depends on the context of the situation.
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Like Ryan say that don t bother me,more bother me when someone ignore me like I dont exist.In fact we are some kind of kids,sometimes our family act to us like we are kids,they do just because they are concern about us,but of course that is annoying,sometimes.
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Yeah being ignored is definitely worse. I think it is best to speak up when this happens, or just when you feel like you’re being talked down to. I want people to know that I can be addressed like any other adult.
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It’s ironic that you brought that up, because I made a post here about that very issue. That’s the one thing that frosts my cookies lol.
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