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Patience is a Virtue
If you listen to our flash briefings, my next perspective will be featured Monday 6/17/19. Here’s a sneak peek. Let me know your thoughts!
Lately I’ve been thinking about the expression patience is a virtue. According to englishclub.com patience equals the ability to wait calmly; the capacity to accept delay without getting angry. Virtue is a quality or trait that most people consider to be morally good or desirable in a person. Therefore it means it’s the admirable quality of not getting upset or mad when things take forever. Basically…living life with SMA. Is patience still a virtue if you don’t have a choice?
When I get up in the morning it probably takes me at least twice as long as the average person. Could I get upset about it? Sure, but it wouldn’t help me get dressed any quicker, so I methodically have my caregiver go through my routine so I can get on with my day. To make it more stress-free I pick out my outfit the night before. I don’t bark out orders, we work together to get it done. By taking these steps it’s easier to be patient no matter how much I desire to be able to jump out of bed, throw on clothes and run out the door.
As a kid I would freak out if there was a spider or bee in my vicinity. One time I got stung by 5 wasps after inadvertently being set on top of a picnic table with a nest underneath, so my fear was totally warranted in my opinion. Over time though I learned to just stay calm and be patient as these creatures decide there’s more interesting subjects to torment. It’s actually quite comical when I see other people flailing around trying to escape a bee. Maybe I would be like that if I could be, but really I can’t so it makes more sense to me just to stay calm. I’m not saying I still don’t have anxiety when the buzz draws near, I’ve just learned to deal with it.
On a daily basis there’s probably 100 examples of where I have to be patient from minor things like opening a cheese stick to major things like arranging doctor appointments. Most of the time I succeed in being patient, sometimes I don’t. It certainly can be frustrating to say the least. In those moments I have to remember patience is a virtue, and if I stay calm and carry on everything will work out. I feel patience is a virtue developed out of necessity, and yes it’s a good trait to have regardless of how it comes about.
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2 Replies
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Well said. Simple tasks often take longer than I’d like, but like you said, complaining doesn’t expedite anything. All that’s good for is getting on the bad side of your caregiver. My dad is the exception to this. He jokes that he’s “Central Oregon’s fastest caregiver”. Sometimes he goes faster than I’d like. For me, the need for patience stems less from how quickly things get done. It’s more about the way they’re done. The truth is every caregiver is going to do the job differently. Different speeds, different order of tasks etcetera. It’s frustrating because most people undoubtedly have a routine, but for me, my “routine” is dictated by my caregivers. I could be more rigid about how I’d like things done, but that tends to make matters worse.
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Our patience shows the most when we have to go to the toilet. I need time to dress and other things, and the best for us is when the same person helps us because that person knows how to dress fast or slow.
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