• Posted by deann-r on November 12, 2018 at 12:14 pm

    I’ve been dealing with PCA’s for quite a few years now.  To date I only have one instance where the working relationship ended on a real sour note.  Thankfully that’s in the past.  This last weekend I had a small issue with one of my long-term PCA’s.  As with all my PCA’s I give them little cues along the way.  Sometimes it’s just easy to forget something and I’m just used to reminding them. This particular PCA knows what she’s doing, and lately has seemed a little condescending and annoyed when I would throw out reminders. I was a little snarky back this time.  On one hand I felt bad because she does a lot for me, but on the other I feel I’m still the authority.  Have you had situations like this? What are your responses to PCA conflict?

    adnan-hafizovic replied 5 years, 6 months ago 5 Members · 4 Replies
  • 4 Replies
  • kevin-schaefer

    Member
    November 12, 2018 at 1:49 pm

    So I’ve definitely had conflicts. Mostly it’s been ones in the past who either never showed up or just didn’t work out. In those scenarios I either had to let them go, or they left.

    With my caregiver Randy, we inevitably get on each other’s nerves because we’re so close. Sometimes it’s me being moody, and other times it’s him not communicating well with me. I know it’s a weird comparison, but there are times when it does feel like a marriage. There are times when I have to put my foot down if he’s doing something wrong or showing up late. After four and a half years working together, we have our fights. Still, we always work through them. It can be hard sometimes because both the client and the PCA have mental and emotional needs, and that’s why communication is key. But absolutely remember that you are in charge, even if you’re friends with your caregiver.

  • ryan-berhar-2

    Member
    November 12, 2018 at 10:47 pm

    I’ve never had PCAs. Just my family and friends take care of me, but the same things apply. I cut my caregivers as much slack as possible, because I recognize it’s a tough job.   However, there are times when I need to request something be done differently. Maybe a certain lifting motion is hurting me or something. With your PCA getting annoyed with you, try to just give her some grace, especially considering she’s been good and reliable for a long time. Maybe she was just having a bad day or something. But if that behavior persists, maybe have a friendly chat about it.

  • kelly-miller

    Member
    November 14, 2018 at 3:13 pm

    I’ve had PCAs in the past, but currently my husband takes care of me. I’m a huge proponent of communication, sometimes even to an extreme. My friends laugh and say that I’m the therapist of the group because I’m always trying to see both sides of someone’s argument! My grandmother & mother were the types to always handle their annoyance with others in a passive-aggressive way, stomping around the house and slamming doors to show they were irritated about something. We would all have to guess at what it was, then randomly try things to make it better. Talk about extremely codependent relationships! I swore I would never behave that way when I had my own life away from them. Now that I’m much older, I make it a priority to ask the person I’m engaging with if anything is bothering them, or how can I help. Every once in a while, they won’t want to talk right then. But almost always, it leads to a civilized discussion about how things can be improved between the two of us. Many hurt feelings & major arguments have been avoided by this simple, albeit nerve-racking for some, gesture toward resolution.

  • adnan-hafizovic

    Member
    January 17, 2019 at 10:39 am

    We’ll have always arguing with PCA,was he our parents or not.

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