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Relying On Siblings for Help
My column tomorrow is about my relationship with my siblings, both of whom are older than me. I’ve written about my brother and sister before, but this specific column focuses on how my having SMA has impacted us in different ways. My siblings helped me a lot growing up, and even today my brother and I hang out regularly and he gives me rides. In turn, I pay for food pretty often when we eat out.
I know it won’t be like this for ever. My sister is married, and she and her husband have a daughter who’s almost two. My brother is in a serious relationship, and once he’s married I’m sure his schedule will change. Still, it’s good to have the relationship we have. I try not to rely on my siblings too much, but it’s nice when they can help out with things like transportation and other caregiving needs I have.
For those of you who have siblings, do they help you out sometimes? I realize the answers here will vary depending on ages and life stages, but I was just curious.
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7 Replies
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My sister is 16, and my brother is 11, so they’ve never helped me with anything major. The age gap is just too great. They do help me with more minor things, however, like moving my hand or grabbing a remote. My sister did get her license recently, so she might start driving me places on occasion.
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Yeah, it’s a significant age difference now. I think though as you guys get older you’ll find it more fun to hang out with each other. Once your sister gets her license, I would go ahead and ask her if she’d be willing to give you rides here and there. It’ll help you have some more independence.
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Yeah, the older you get, the less profound the age gap becomes. I just look forward to the day my siblings get along with each other lol.
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I have brother he is 2 years older have family,he helps me,we live near so it is easier to be together,of course his wife and kid must be on first place.That is normal,our bad luck that we haven t own family.
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That’s good you live close. Yeah, I know his family takes priority, but that’s good he can still help you out some.
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My sister is a few years older than I am. Growing up I was the “annoying little sister.” As adults we get along fine. We both have such different personalities though. Because her style of doing things is so different I would kind of dread when she’d actually do things like drive me somewhere or put my coat on. Although my sister isn’t really involved with any of my personal cares, she’s willing to help out when needed. When I moved out on my own I had difficulty finding staff at first so she worked with me for a short period of time actually doing personal cares. Both parties would agree that it was best it was only for a few months. Now though, she just comes over to do “extras” on occasion. She’ll trim my service dog Roy’s nails, swap out screens in the fall, take out the ac for me and do stuff like that. I try to keep requests to a minimum because I hate feeling like a burden. She’s busy with her own family. This year I hired my nieces to mow my lawn, so am getting them involved a little. They even hook up my wheelchair in the van for Gramma and will throw my poncho on or open a door for me if we go somewhere. I’d like them to learn that lending a helping hand is a nice thing to do. In turn I do fun things with them.
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I know the feeling. I try to have as much coverage as I can and take care of things on my own before asking my family for help. It’s a common trait for anyone with SMA. But that’s good your sister can still help some.
That’s a good approach to with your nieces. I have a younger cousin who helps me out as well, and it’s easy work for him. Now that he can drive, I do want to ask him if he’s interested in helping me more with rides and such. He’s going to college next year, and especially if he goes somewhere close that could be a good part-time job for him. And oh yes, I was the annoying little brother haha.
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