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    Adapting to Life Outside Our Home With SMA

    I once heard a joke that a woman’s mind is like an Internet browser that has 1000 tabs open and running at once. I laughed at the time, but came to realize that if I didn’t actually feel like this before hearing the short acronym “SMA,” I most certainly do now.

    I spend much of my time pre-planning and thinking of possible problems that we may run into because of the kids’ diagnoses. I think many other SMA parents do this as well. Prior to our lives with SMA, we didn’t realize just how inaccessible the world is to those who are differently-abled.

  • This topic has 8 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 11 months, 1 week ago by Brianna Albers.

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      • #16025
        Brianna Albers
        Keymaster

        Hi everyone! Kevin asked me to do a quick write-up on my recent online dating experiences, which is ironic because there actually haven’t been that many. I’m a member of several apps and sites and was pretty active for several weeks, but then life got busy thanks to finals and the holiday season, and I’ve struggled to find time in the day ever since.

        The last time I tried online dating, I fell off the wagon pretty quickly. The whole experience made me anxious, and I found it easier to just forget the whole thing ever happened. Things have gone better this time around—I’ve connected with several people and even had a couple of in-depth conversations that eventually touched on disability, which is more than I ever would’ve hoped for at one point in my life. But I still find it hard to put so much time and energy into something with no guarantees as to the results.

        Have you experimented with online dating at all? If so, what did you like about it? What didn’t you like about it? Do you have any tips for those who are thinking about trying it out? Let us know in the comments below!

      • #16043
        Kevin Schaefer
        Keymaster

        I know what you mean about the anxiety factor. I’ve experimented with online dating as well, but I found that just being on the apps and waiting for someone to respond to a message was both time-consuming and anxiety-inducing. I know it works for a lot of people and I don’t discourage anyone from trying it, but for me I just prefer meeting people in person. Any girls I’ve gone out with have always been friends who know me and have at least some exposure to my physical needs and restrictions.

        Still, online dating can be a good way to just meet people. There are certainly a lot of people on dating sites who are only interested in hookups, but there are also plenty out there who are looking for quality relationships. My brother met his fiancé through match.com.

        I hope for the best for you. You never know who you might find.

        • #16358
          Brianna Albers
          Keymaster

          It’s so time-consuming! And you get so many emails, which only clutters my mind and gives me more anxiety. 😂 At this point, I’m just experimenting with it, trying not to get my hopes up. Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, it’s a great way to meet other people, as you said.

      • #16047
        DeAnn R
        Keymaster

        You’re more brave than I am Brianna.  The whole online dating thing is not for me.

        • #16359
          Brianna Albers
          Keymaster

          It’s not really for me either! I’ve found it to be pretty discouraging. But I’m just stubborn enough to not give up. 😂

      • #16049
        Ryan Berhar
        Keymaster

        I’ve tried it as well, but I sort of gave up on it. I like it from the standpoint that it gives me —someone who wants a relationship, but  doesn’t get to go out and meet many people—something to try. However, I just didn’t have any actual results. I’ve talked to probably dozens of girls, and none of them seemed very interested in even talking, let alone actually dating. It’s not like the problem was me, either, because they hadn’t met me or anything. I’m confused by it. Like why are you on a dating site if you won’t even talk.  I don’t know if I was on the wrong sites or what, but I just sort of said to heck with this lol.

        • #16361
          Brianna Albers
          Keymaster

          I feel this so much! I’m part of a Facebook group for singles in my spiritual community and a lot of the members have said similar things. It’s so frustrating.

      • #16084
        Adnan Hafizovic
        Participant

        Kevin you should ask me about dating online,I have experience,lol.This thing that Ryan said,you send someone message and she don’t answer even most of girls don’t go in our profile to see our pictures.I thought I only have that problem.I think I must send message to 50 girls,and only one will answer.And yes what these girls looking there ?I was try to talk with girls from others continents and from black Africa girls are more communicative.But what if we find some girl who accept us ,question is how will accept that our parents?Specially if that girl live in other state.It would be good that we all speak with our parents and ask them,would they support us,when we found some girl.And problem is that some people use these sites for fraud.And in the end it would be good for us that we have someone.

        • #16362
          Brianna Albers
          Keymaster

          I state in my profile that I’m disabled (but in a cheeky way, so it’s not a complete downer), but even then people seem surprised when I mention disability. I have to wonder if they even read my profile, or if they swiped solely because of my pictures.

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